Overview and Assessment of
Approaches to Access Enforcement

2001-FCY-8E

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APPENDIX B
EXCERPT FROM OAKLAND COUNTY FRIEND
OF THE COURT HANDBOOK

PARENTING TIME

This section of the Judgement spells out the rights of the non-custodial parent to see the children. Parenting time generally presents the greatest emotional problems for the parties, their children, relatives, friends, and new spouses.

What are "reasonable rights" of parenting time?

Most Judgements state that parenting time rights are "reasonable." This allows the parties great freedom in working out a comfortable parenting time program. Parenting time should change as the children mature and as the parties move to locations nearer or farther away from each other. Reasonable rights allow the parties to make these adjustments without going before the Court. If you cannot agree on what constitutes reasonable rights, make an appointment with the Friend of the Court for advice or for working out a parenting time program.

While parenting time programs are usually developed according to an individual family's situation and circumstances, a standard minimum recommendation for parenting includes alternating weekends from Friday to Sunday, alternate holidays, two weeks or more of summer vacation, and other school vacation time of children.

Parenting time is granted in accordance with the best interest of the child. The child should have a strong relationship with both parents. If the parents agree on parenting time terms, the Court will follow the parenting time terms unless the Court determines on the record, by clear and convincing evidence, that the parenting time terms are not in the best interest of the child. A child shall have a right to parenting time with a parent unless it is shown on the record, by clear and convincing evidence, that it would endanger the child's physical, mental, or emotional health.

In determining parenting time, the Court may consider the following factors:

1. Special circumstances of the child, whether the child is a nursing child.
   
   
2. The likelihood of abuse during parenting time.
   
   
3. The likelihood of abuse of a parent resulting from the exercise of parenting time.
   
   
4. The burdensome impact of travelling for parenting time on the child.
   
   
5. Whether the visiting parent will visit in accordance with the order.
   
   
6. Whether the visiting parent has frequently failed to exercise parenting time.
   
   
7. The threatened or actual detention of the child with the intent to retain or conceal the child from the other parent.
   
   
8. Any other relevant factors.

A parenting time order may contain any reasonable terms, including one or more of the following:

1. Division of the responsibility for transportation.
   
   
2. Division of the cost of transportation.
   
   
3. Restrictions on the presence of third persons during parenting time.
   
   
4. Requirements that the child be ready for parenting time at a specific time.
   
   
5. Requirements about specific times for the pick up and return of the child.
   
   
6. Parenting time to occur in the presence of a third party or agency.
   
   
7. Requirements that a party post a bond to assure compliance with a parenting time order.
   
   
8. Requirements of a reasonable notice when parenting time will not occur.
   
   
9. Any other reasonable condition determined to be appropriate.

Vacations out-of-state.

Either parent may take the minor child out-of-state for a vacation unless a court order prohibits it.

Parents are urged to notify the other parent of a telephone number and the location where the minor child may be reached in case an emergency arises.

Spare the children.

Parenting time is often unnecessarily traumatic for parents and children. When picking up and dropping off the children, the non-custodial parent must remember that parenting time is the only purpose for being at the home of the custodial parent. That parent is not there to "check-up" on the custodian. The marital home is no longer open to the non-custodial parent, and familiar rooms are now off limits.

Parenting time is for the parent and child.

Many parenting time disputes begin with a parent arriving with a new girlfriend or boyfriend. Leave your new acquaintances at home; the children need your full attention. They have a rough enough time adjusting without learning a new cast of players.

Grandparent parenting time.

In accordance with MCLA 722.27B, a grandparent of the minor children whose parents are in the process of divorce may petition the Court for parenting time privileges. Persons who become grandparents through their son's written acknowledgement of paternity or by the adjudication of a Court or by their son's regular contribution to the support of a child may also petition the Court for parenting time. The Friend of the Court does not file such petitions. It may be necessary for the grandparents to hire an attorney to assist them in this matter. The Friend of the Court will enforce parenting time for a grandparent once an order is entered.

The Friend of the Court encourages custodians to allow grandparents parenting time, but this is generally not required by court orders.

Show up for parenting time on time!

If you tell the children you are coming for parenting time, be sure to show up. The tales of children waiting all weekend for a parent who never appears are disturbingly common. Please phone a few days ahead if there is any question about whether or not you will show up.

Both parents are to be timely about the parenting time pick up and return. The custodial parent is to have the children ready at the scheduled time and be available at the return time. The non-custodial parent should arrive within a few minutes of the agreed upon or court-ordered time for both the pick up and return. If a parenting time pick up or return time absolutely cannot be met, a parent has the obligation to telephone the other parent about the delay.

Don't use the child as a spy.

A parent sometimes asks a child a lot of questions about what is going on in the other parent's home--questions about whether mom or dad has a boyfriend or girlfriend, if the new boyfriend/girlfriend is spending the night, if mom/dad asked questions about him or her. Sometimes the questions are to satisfy curiosity, but sometimes they are to hurt the other parent or to hurt the parent asking the questions. Sometimes the questions are to help a parent feel better about him or herself--that the other parent is not doing OK without the relationship.

Enlisting children to play this game complicates and confuses the relationships they have with both parents and is damaging to their emotional well being.

The list of possible sources of friction with parenting time is endless. Avoid as many of the pitfalls as possible.

1. Don't arrive for parenting time with expensive presents when your support is in arrears and necessities (groceries, clothing) are scarce in the custodial parent's home.
   
   
2. Don't always take the children to ball games, the circus, or fancy restaurants; do some casual things with them, too. (The custodial parent on welfare of a limited budget just can't compete, and friction will result.)
   
   
3. Don't tell the children you will have custody of them some day. Petition the Court for a change of custody and do your talking in the courtroom where it counts.
   
   
4. Pick up and return the children to their home on time.
   
   
5. Remember to spend time with your children. Often children are left with friends or lumped together with the new wife's or husband's children. The children need time with you.
   
   
6. If you can't talk to your ex-spouse at all, stick to a rigid schedule. Wait at the front door or in the car for the children, and have as little contact as possible with the other parent.
   
   
7. Don't expect the custodial parent to let you have the children if you have been drinking or using drugs.
   
   
8. If you do not have a driver's license, a relative or friend must do the driving.
   
   
9. If you are the custodial parent, don't forget to supply adequate clothing for parenting time and to inform the visiting parent of necessary medication and possible illness.
   
   
10. Car seats are required by Michigan law for ALL children under the age of one. In 1991, Michigan law was amended to require all backseat passengers under 18 to wear seat belts.
    
    
11. Parents should speak positively to the children about the other parent, or say nothing at all. Speaking negatively about the other parent will do more harm than good.

Don't deny parenting time to get support.

Support and parenting time are NOT dependent on each other. Parenting time should continue even if the payer is not paying support. File a complaint for enforcement of support with the Friend of the Court. Don't deny parenting time. Similarly, if you are denied parenting time, continue to pay support, and file a complaint for enforcement of parenting time.

Divorce or separation does not change the other parent. If he or she was a "casual" housekeeper, or was late most of the time, he or she will more than likely continue that behaviour.

Comply with the court orders or get them changed.

The following excuses by the custodial parent are NOT valid reasons for denying parenting time.

1. The child is sick (unless the non-custodial parent is provided with the specific nature of the illness and an opportunity to see the child).
   
   
2. The child had to go someplace else.
   
   
3. The child is not home.
   
   
4. The non-custodial parent is behind in their support obligation.
   
   
5. The child wants to stay home.
   
   
6. The custodial parent does not want the child to go on parenting time.
   
   
7. The weather was bad.
   
   
8. The child has no clothes to wear.

ENFORCEMENT OF PARENTING TIME ORDERS

The Friend of the Court assists the non-custodial parent in having parenting time as ordered by the Court. Correspondence, consultations and court actions, as needed, are used to ensure the children will have contact with the non-custodial parent. Parenting time complaints must be in writing. If you wish to meet with a Family Counsellor, an appointment arranged in advance of the meeting is necessary.

The Friend of the Court will provide the requesting party with a form that must be returned before enforcement will begin. The parties involved in a dispute over parenting time may request a joint conference with a Family Counsellor, or formal mediation.

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