Abuse Is Wrong In Any Culture: for First Nations and Métis people
Is it better to stay or leave?
First make sure your children, and you, are safe.
You may choose to leave for a short time, or even permanently. These choices do not mean you have to end your marriage or relationship—but they do mean you have to make some changes.
You might be afraid that your family and friends will blame you for breaking up the family. Let them know that leaving your spouse or partner is not an easy decision but hiding the actions of someone who is abusing you will not help that person to heal. You have to save yourself first before you can save someone else.
Letting your children think that violence in families is okay will affect their future. If you leave, you are showing your children that you can do something about violence in your life.
Remember that if you feel unsafe and afraid in your relationship, you are in an abusive relationship. If you have been battered once, it is likely there will be a second and third time...and more. Violence and abuse usually gets worse unless it is faced and the family gets help.
In making your decision, ask yourself:
- Is the person abusing me getting more violent?
- Has the person:
- ever used a weapon, like a knife, stick, or gun to hurt me?
- physically or sexually abused my children?
- threatened to kill me or the children?
- threatened to kill themself?
- forced me to have sex?
- taken drugs or drunk a lot?
- Am I taking drugs or drinking to deal with the pain in my life?
- Am I afraid for my children?
- Are my friends and family afraid for me?
- How is this stress and violence affecting me and my kids?
- How controlling or jealous is the person abusing me?
- Is the person willing to take counselling or get help?
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