Child Custody, Parental Responsibilities, and Family Law

Across both Central and Eastern Canada, only four participants of 25 (16 percent) from Central Canada and one of 17 (6 percent) Eastern Canada participants reported issues that involved family law, child custody, and parental responsibilities.

The first participant explained their concerns about their ex-partner’s family and how the family’s connection to a church played a role in the custody case because of the participant’s sexual orientation. The participant explained:

[O]ne of the issues we had, for instance, was because my ex’s parents go to like a very conservative church, they go to a church that would like tell kids, for instance, that you would go to hell for being gay or not being straight, or having a different gender orientation, stuff like that (CC#17).

As a result, this participant fought to keep their child from being taken to church because they were concerned about this rhetoric from the ex’s parents on sexuality and gender identities. The participant’s concerns are based on their understanding that although celebrating differences is not illegal, discrimination based on sexual orientation is.

Another participant from Central Canada facing child custody issues reflected that, during custody proceedings, they felt the courts preferred that children be raised by two parents, regardless of the concerns raised by the participant about their ex’s behaviour. The participant summarized the situation by stating, “[The judge] said, two women are better than one to raise a child. And I disagreed. But I could not prove it, so I understand the position that he was in and all the lawyers were in” (CC#19). The participant did not feel their sexual orientation was a factor in the case; rather, co-parenting the child was the determining factor in the custody agreement.

The following Central Canada participant explained the divorce proceedings with their ex, and their difficulties in retaining custody. They described the hostile experience with their ex when they separated and concerns about the ex’s threats of self-harm. The police had to be called numerous times. After one occasion, their ex disappeared and did not maintain consistent contact with their child. The participant also described the transphobia they experienced in court during the divorce proceedings and the language, they felt was discriminatory, used by their ex to win the court’s favour. “[H]er affidavit to the court stated that I was just a guy who cut off his genitals and a lot of things like that in the court affidavit, so trying to win the courts’ favour by saying that I’m just a tranny, whatever” (CC#1). The participant was pleased by the positive reaction they received from the court about their ex using transphobia as a way of attempting to win custody: “[T]he courts seem to be ignoring that aspect of it. A lot of relief, some surprise” (CC#1).

Another participant, from Eastern Canada, described what they believed was discrimination from their ex-partner’s lawyer, who questioned their sincerity in the marriage because the participant was bisexual. The participant stated that “at one point I was sitting with his lawyer, him, and my lawyer and a mediator and his lawyer out of the blue started asking questions about whether I had been sincere in entering into the marriage, 30 years before because I was a bisexual woman” (EC#3). The participant shared more details about the discriminatory comments made by the lawyer and how it felt to be questioned because of their bisexuality. They expressed feelings of embarrassment, describing the lawyer’s questioning as bizarre, and implied that their bisexuality was being used as grounds for annulment.